In an effort to feel better about design, I've been reading about it.
In an odd way, I find this so very encouraging.
"As children, most graphic designers don't know that they want to be designers. They start out by making things. They are uninhibited and uncritical. They draw from the heart. They draw the things they love: horses, toy soldiers - or conjure up comic book characters or create paper dolls with complete wardrobes. They doodle in their school notebooks. They make up stories with their drawing, and some of them are intensely personal. Later, when they are in high school, they become known for being "good at art". They draw portraits of their classmates or caricatures of their teachers. They make posters for the school prom of the student-council elections or the football rallies. They have found their position in life. They go to college and become graphic designers. They retain their passion for making things and still cherish the notion that they are "good at art". But then they graduate, go to work as designers, and begin to find themselves far away from the doodles and craft of their childhood. They become strategists, branding experts. They attend meetings. They become planners. They "execute" design. They stop making things, and they never totally understand how that happened."
this makes me happy.